Trauma TV

I have watched the entire catalogue of Castle and Bones no fewer than 10 times. Sometimes it's on in the background as I work, other times it's playing as I sleep. I don't really watch the shows anymore. It's more that I absorb them. It is the comfort of a known rhythm, and I'm not the only one who reaches for it.

People who have been through trauma lean on familiar shows, movies, and books more than most. The characters stand in for a sense of belonging, which might be why I can fall asleep to a murder investigation.

Sometimes, if I've had a particularly stressful week, I'll watch Stranger Than Fiction (Will Ferrell's best work, in my opinion) or The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (also, Ben Stiller's best work). I don't listen to these movies; I watch them intensely. I've easily watched each one more than three dozen times. I know every beat, and I know exactly what I'm going to feel and when. A familiar story puts back what a draining week takes out.

Part of it is a trauma response. Part of it is stress relief. My go-to. A way to regulate the intensity of my day-to-day life.

The people who study re-watching say we use these stories to gauge our own growth against a known. Have I grown over the years? Maybe. I assume I have.

There are books I go back to, but not as often as shows or movies. Reading can take more effort, but I find it exponentially more rejuvenating. Fast food vs. a well-balanced meal.

That's all. All I needed to share. I dropped this in here so I can remember to come back and dig into it later. I'd like to learn more about the studies so I can fully appreciate how these mechanisms work.