Carb Hunter

If 2022 had a motto it would be, "what was I thinking?" It's DAY 4 into the New Year and I find myself asking this question with shocking regularity. For example: I started the 100 Days Project with a simple premise of focusing on consistency; the goal being to write, create, and rebuild myself over 100 days. I am 4% there and think I might have bitten off more than I can chew, literally.

COVID and holidays and stress and winter (-35°C) and lack of Vitamin D has all delivered a very real New Years treat known as OUT OF SHAPE. One of the ways I snapped my body back last time I was OUT OF SHAPE was to start KETO with Jenn. KETO, (if you are unaware) is the diet of feral dogs, so if you ever want to look and feel like a feral dog, this is the diet for you.

I'm DAY 4 into KETO and am certain my body has now entered the KETO-ZONE and I find myself self searching the pantry and fridge looking for carbs. The feeling is what Wile E Coyote must go through when he sees the Roadrunner suddenly shimmering into a giant ham, except in my case it would be a giant loaf of garlic bread with a side of croutons. Sleep last night was not awesome — it involved some really vivid and bizarre dreams that weren't quite nightmares but weren't not nightmares — and my brain feels like its full of Skeksis.

There is a malady known as THE KETO FLU which I, and every feral dog and conniving half-starved coyote, are in the full throes of. If you check it on Healthline you will note that of all the symptoms you can enjoy in this state you can have both constipation AND diarrhea (I do not suffer in this respect, it's just humorous to note). If that weren't enough other symptoms include headache (check), irritability (fucking check), weakness (check), dizziness (check), muscle soreness (check), difficulty sleeping (check-check), and sugar cravings (switch to garlic bread and we're on).

Healthline offers many and varied ways to combat Keto Flu, some of which I've intuitively started, some of which I had no idea about, for example: those workouts I started doing should be put on the back-burner until my body adapts to the new fuel source and go for walks instead. Great. We're back to -33°C and it's been snowing all night. Maybe I'll just head to the kitchen and juggle potatoes for a bit and remember the good ol' days.